So we’ve got this affliction of narcissism abound (not surprisingly it’s got lots of other names – as is the chameleon characteristic of such a ‘bug’). It’s in all of us, some latently, some continually. We all have a shadow-side. The ‘lizard brain’. Everybody’s 50-50 – yin and yang. Narcissism is about creating a projection of strength, without vulnerability, and fighting externally of oneself to keep it. ‘Show no weakness’ if you’re a man; ‘I am beautiful’ if you’re a woman. (Don’t panic, it’s all manufactured to keep you scared of yourself.) And any attempts to assail this notion of Self meets resistance, sometimes aggressively, sometimes covertly, sometimes insanely, sometimes malignantly, sometimes passively.
Men are usually bolder than women, sadly. Boys are taught to fight problems, to fix them. Males are indoctrinated to defeat enemies by asserting more power. (Women are invited to just ‘be’ with problems and accept them). If males feels an assault on perceived self-respect (their programmed Achilles heel of shame), then a conflict will often ensue, in a variety of guises. But physical force is educated to be the ultimate remedy (eg. John Rambo).
With females a perception of gentile softness is indoctrinated, and elicited, even during times of intense hatred. ‘I must project that lovely princess persona even when I want to scratch that bastard’s eyes out!’ Until they snap. Then they do scratch that bastard’s eyes out – perhaps metaphorically, perhaps actually! And then the shame arrives. “That wasn’t me! I mustn’t be like that! What would Walt Disney say!? Oh the shame!”
But the individual isn’t the root of the problem. (Which is always worth sourcing). The conception of this affliction does not come from the sufferer’s biology. The Self-Actualised human can eject narcissism if it so wishes. It is not a hereditary ‘glitch’ within the physical Self. The hardware design is sound. It is much more of a software virus. And on the wifi airwaves of the Ether’s ‘inner-net’ exists this Torjan-horse virus we call ‘narcissism’ (amongst other titles). Although it is not a ‘genetic hand-me-down’, it is often ‘trans-generational’. (As is narcissism’s dance partner: Codependence). But whichever generation booted-up the installation, it must have been initiated from somewhere, at some point…
Again, it can be understood that as children we all experience a sensation of ‘power hunger’. ‘Empowerment’ is a heady consideration for a young child. They exist in a world of adults where they observe how big people can manipulate the world in so many phenomenally exciting ways, and they can’t wait to have a piece of that action.
As Hamlet describes, ‘how infinite in faculty’!
But The Dane also states, ‘how noble in reason’. And so it’s reasonable for a child to experiment (play) with asserting power. Assertiveness is a masculine trait, but all balanced people are 50% masculine and 50% feminine, so we all experience the sensation in varying capacities and faculties. I toyed with the lives of ants during my earliest stint with narcissism. There were all these weaker beings below me, as my play things. I could decide that some should die, if I liked. And I could exalt others by defeating their foes for them. Etc. Then I experimented with humans, later in my childhood. (I got better, honest! Please! Validate me!) But I remember one boy, a few years younger than me, perhaps five, who was clearly very attached to his dog. I wondered if I could control his emotions by creating a narrative whereby his dog would go to the moon without him, tomorrow. The little boy believed me and started crying. Ha! What a douche bag – fancy not understanding the world enough! He was my emotional puppet on a string. He probably deserved it for being so naive!
Then. Subsequently. Empathy arrives.
An understanding that altruism is a better way to exist than narcissism. Collaboration over competition. That one’s environment is intrinsically connected to one’s Self. Which included other people’s Self. It included the Realms of ideas. Of psychology and psychic spirit.
Empathy should (in a virus free environment) supersede narcissism as a more beneficial operating system, with maturity.
One’s device runs smoother when collaborating algorithms are scripted harmoniously.
Software networks complementing each other’s devices.
Open source bio-synergy.
Codes of Being.
We are at a place in our psycho-spiritual evolution whereby societally we require a macro and micro ‘defrag’.
Our default net browsers send us to (or keep us at) narcissism.
‘It’s a dog-eat-dog world young nipper, nice guys finish last and only the fittest survive. Greed is good. You’ve gotta crack some eggs to make an omlette.’
Narcissism is a psychological syntax error. When the Empaths finally sharpen their edges enough to iron out the malware in the system our broadband speeds (from the big router at the Galactic Centre and Home Hub Mother Earth) will reach Infinity…